One fic for the square Epicfail

Word Count: 613

Fandom: Supernatural

Sam was failing hard today. So very very hard. Epically hard.

He was epically failing. And it was all because of that stupid rabbits foot.

First, he spilled his coffee all over his pants. That burned. Really REALLY badly. He probably wouldn’t be able to use those parts for a few days.

Spilling the coffee made him jump and he knocked over a waiter. Everything broke and the waiter cut himself, Sam is lucky he didn’t get like, sued or something.

Lucky. Ha.

Then they were running after Bela and Sam tripped.

On air.

Friggen air

And he ruined his pants because now they have huge holes in the knees. Sam and Dean don’t have that many pairs of pants, seriously Sam has like three, and one of them is stained with goblin blood.

His knees were all bloody and had gravel in them. Sam will probably get an infection in his legs and die now. Great.

And then Dean told him he sucked, and that hurt, deep down in Sam’s chest, it hurt. Or that might be because he landed on his ribs. But you know, its the principal of the thing. Sam was bleeding on the ground and Dean just told him he sucked.

Mean.

When they went to the dudes house where the got the damn rabbits foot, Sam tripped over the cord to a radio. It sent him flying to the ground, and he broke a friggen lamp.

Glass everywhere. But it was a light bulb so its those little shards that you cant even see embedded into your skin and then it itches and hurts and you can never find it!

Then Sam stepped in gum. And it was fresh. And gross.

When he tried to get it off his shoe? His damn shoe came off and fell in the sewer. And Dammit he just bought those because his other shoes were covered in chunks of some monster Dean decided to shove TNT in to kill.

That stuff doesn’t come out.

Dean took Sam to the motel and told him he was staying there because he didn’t want Sam’s bad luck to kill them. How rude!

Sam wasn’t even allowed to scratch his nose. Well, he did that anyway.

And then the damn air conditioner busted. And started smoking.

Then caught on fire.

Dammit.

Sam tried to put it out with the curtain and ended up catching his own arm on fire. So he tried to put THAT out with a curtain and ended up knocking himself out.

When he woke up he was duck taped to a chair.

By two psychos who were sent by Gordon to kill him.

Oh, scratch that. They were sent by ‘God’.

Thats ALL Sam needed, Jesus freaks on a mission from God.

Who have a killer backhand. Ow.

Luckily after the psychopaths asked him some dumb questions and backhanded him just a few more painful times, Dean came in and...

Threw a pen at the barrel of the gun.

And it went right in.

And then knocked the guy out with a TV remote.

Dean must have touched the rabbits foot. Great.

And there is no way in hell he is batman dammit.

But thank god right after that they go to burn the damn thing, Sam was sick of his bad lu-

Oh god dammit, Bela.

Now Sam has a hole in his shoulder. Great.

But in the end they ended up burning the rabbits food cause Bela’s reflexes betrayed her and she caught it when Dean threw it to her.

But Sam still has a hole in his shoulder and two in his jeans.

This sucks. Epically.